21 October

Well, today i am feeling better. Maybe my mother's return has something to do with it. Although we don't speak to each other much, the fact she is here makes me feel less lonely.
However I look bad with spots all over my face, but it doesn't really matter that much if I eat properly - they should be gone in a few days. This is my 5th day without smoking. I don't even feel like it anymore (first 3 days I had the worst cravings), but the IDEA of how I sit on a terrace in the evening, listening to the sad music and thinking about the boy I like, who has a girlfriend and doesn't want me... so tempting. I do not deal with rejection well. Any kind of unpleasant feelings, actually.
But I'm aware of the fact that once I start smoking again, I will regret it. I should probably give myself just some time off, to improve my condition, shape etc. How long it will last? I honestly don't know. Till the first emotional breakdown I guess.