RUN

Today I was revising the whole day, eating shit, and in the evening, when I came home - I binged. And I purged. And then I ate. I was like chocolate, ice-cream, chicken, lettuce, potatos, everything. Of course you won't manage to return all of it. So my stomach was like a huge sticking out ball and I was lying on my bed, trying to learn (exam in 8 hours from now), posting some stupid shit on Facebook. And of course he didn't "like it". No one (of those important) did. So I was lying there, refreshing fucking page every five minutes, then I just covered my head with the pillow and stayed silent for a half an hour.

And then I was like:

FUCK IT.

IF YOU DON'T LIKE ME, THAT'S FINE.

FUCK YOU.

I WON'T BE MISERABLE AND SAD AND WASTING MY LIFE BECAUSE OF YOU, MOTHERFUCKERS. I WON'T BE THIS UNHAPPY, CRYING  GIRL, ALWAYS DOWN AND JOYLESS.

FUCK YOU.

I AM GOING TO FUCKIN RUN.

And I went for a run. Or jogg, if you prefer to call it that way. With my huge, bunchy, hurting belly. And you know what? I MANAGED. I walked for 3 minutes maybe and I stretched once during 25 or 30 minutes or something. And you know what? NO ONE WILL TELL ME I CAN'T.

I FUCKING CAN.

It doesn't matter how much I weigh or how much did I eat. It depends on my DETERMINATION.
I will be strong, I will be joyful and I will be PROUD. And I will do everything I want to. And if then nobody doesn't like me - that's fine. But how can other people like me if I do not like myself? If I'm not satisfied with myself? If I'm not proud of myself? And I fucking can, because I am able to do it. I am able to fucking ACHIEVE MY GOALS (not defined yet, but that's not the point my dears.)
I CAN.



I CAN.
I CAN.
I CAN.


AND NO ONE WILL TELL ME I FUCKIN' CAN'T.