69,2 - FAT BITCH

I hate holidays. I HATE THEM. All weekend sitting on my ass and eating, eating, eating... awful. Tomorrow I have a party. And I look like a fat cow. LAZY, STUPID, FAT BITCH! When you look like shit, you feel like shit. No more alcohol, no more sweets, no more bread, no more caloric shit. BIG, FAT, LOSER. I wanna be pretty. I just wanna be pretty, I want to be the girl boys actually look at. I don't want to wonder if he didn't want me because I'm fat. I want to feel confident. DISCIPLINE!!! DISCIPLINE IS THE ONLY WAY TO ACHIEVE IT!!! I don't want to be whale again, I need to be taugh on myself. Anyone will try to convince you to let go, to have a little pleasure... Don't believe them. And don't try to persuade yourself you deserve a piece of pie. You deserve better, you deserve a slender body and new jeans along with high heels. Last few days I've been allowing myself to have a piece of cake (like others), to taste some fresh bread, to eat some dumplings... And you have no idea how much I regret it now, when I stepped on a scale and it showed I've gained what, 6 pounds? I've fought so hard to lose them... Then, during a few days, I turned my effort into dust. Taking a diet-break is so MISLEADING!!! You cannot afford it! DISCIPLINE IS WHAT YOU LIVE BY TO ACHIEVE WHAT YOU WANT!