...

It's 3 a.m. in the morning and I went downstairs to the kitchen, to let my cat out... and then it started. Totally out of my control. I couldn't think. I just ate and ate and ate, everything I could see, so after 20 or 25 minutes I ended up bent over a toilet... I fucked up, again. I fucked up because I puked and on the other hand - I fucked up beacuse I didn't puke it all - there is a lot of it disgusting food left in my stomach.

I HATE MYSELF. I DETEST MYSELF. I DESPISE MYSELF.

All that effort in last few days - for what?
I am so accurate and so stressed and everything is going well and I just have to spoil everything, as always... I am so hopeless I can't even look at my self. And three hours earlier I was thinking that someone can actually feel something about me. That I can be worth loving. Nice joke. Who would give a fuck? Noone saw me, noone heard me, noone came to me... noone cares.