68,1 FAT FAT FAT

I'm supposed to go back to school and my PE lesson on Monday, not sure how I'm gonna do that. Why do I always dream about doing something, but never have a courage and determination to actually DO it? So pathetic. I want to know how it feels to actually ACCOMPLISH something through the sorrows and thanks to determination, not "luck". I used to know this feeling, when I was younger, when I was 13 years old and I would have such strong will power that I would eat 3 apples a day for 2 weeks in order to lose 5 kilos. I remember it was a great feeling, this flat stomach...Why can't I return to that state of mind when you are so determined you can do ANYTHING... You can finish and get satisfaction...