I never make good choices, do I?
10/7/12
Exhausting Weekend
Today I weigh 68,8kg. Or 68.7, I don't remember. Anyway, it's the result of unwisely spent weekend. Instead of organising my room and going to bed early after writing my last note, I went to the party. I got a drunk, I got high and I got Hungry. Naturally hungry + "I have to eat to get sober quickly" + gastro-phase hungry + after that: a Huge Hangover Hungry. Well, in just two days (not even complete yet) 1kg ~ 2 pounds.
10/5/12
Caloric Review of the Day
Yeah, today my colleague throws a party but I can't go, because one person I strongly avoid is going. So I will stay home, watch a movie or read a book or binge and purge for a change ;)
Today I ate a piece of bread, light cottage cheese (120 cal), 1 rice cake (20 cal), 1 pack of chewing gum (20 cal), drunk three coffees with 0,5% fat milk (100 cal?). And about 2 bottles od cola light. Hope I don't have a binge. Like I did yesterday and the day before.
So for now it's about 350 calories.
Today I ate a piece of bread, light cottage cheese (120 cal), 1 rice cake (20 cal), 1 pack of chewing gum (20 cal), drunk three coffees with 0,5% fat milk (100 cal?). And about 2 bottles od cola light. Hope I don't have a binge. Like I did yesterday and the day before.
So for now it's about 350 calories.
67,7
Well, maybe I will achieve m 67kg-goal till Monday after all. If I do, I will allow myself to go to the cinema. Yesterday I went to the gym ( I only worked out for 20 minutes but I wasn't lazy, so I painfully feel my muscles today (especially my arms hurt a bit).
Today I have my first psychology lecture (although it's not in English, so it will be a brief change). I want to clean up my room first and segregate dome stuff, just to have an orderliness. I want to clean my room, clean my mind, clean my body and well, clean my life. I want to get rid of Him, get rid of all this thoughts about him, this constant concern and attention. He doesn't deserve and for sure I don't deserve to be treated that way. If he refuse to pay attention to me, I can be by myself as well. At least I won't feel being abandoned every day and without obsessive thoughts about him. He really doesn't deserve my love, care or attention.
Today I have my first psychology lecture (although it's not in English, so it will be a brief change). I want to clean up my room first and segregate dome stuff, just to have an orderliness. I want to clean my room, clean my mind, clean my body and well, clean my life. I want to get rid of Him, get rid of all this thoughts about him, this constant concern and attention. He doesn't deserve and for sure I don't deserve to be treated that way. If he refuse to pay attention to me, I can be by myself as well. At least I won't feel being abandoned every day and without obsessive thoughts about him. He really doesn't deserve my love, care or attention.
So, get organized and pull yourself together!
10/3/12
68,4
I'm trying to get my lower weight back and hopefully I will.
@ visited me but it's not that horrible right now (although I have my PE class in the afternoon).
Anyway, I got a little bit sick after hearing that news, especially as I was totally alone. I've been throwing up all night. Maybe that's the cause of my lower weight today-I am dehydrated, haha.
@ visited me but it's not that horrible right now (although I have my PE class in the afternoon).
Anyway, I got a little bit sick after hearing that news, especially as I was totally alone. I've been throwing up all night. Maybe that's the cause of my lower weight today-I am dehydrated, haha.
Eating - 3.10.12
My eating not so bad today, could have been a lot better of course. In the morning (I overslept a little bit) I didn't get a chance to eat anything, so after lessons I grabbed a cereal bar (120 cal) and this cheese-cream cake (170 cal). When I got home I ate a sandwich (dark bread+salmon - very fat and a lot of oil), one white roll, a huge bowl of salad (lettuce, tomatoes, pepper, cucumber) with olive oil and a lot of garlic. I also drank 2 coffees with 0,5% fat milk and picked out all cookie crisps from 2 packs of muesli. I felt for it so badly... I couldn't resist I'm afraid. I hope the reason of last few edgy days was the @ coming, not anything else. And it IS coming, I can tell. The only positive thing - IT IS 28th DAY - SO IT IS A PERFECT TIMING!!!
First time since... I dont't even remember when such thing occured.
First time since... I dont't even remember when such thing occured.
First Practise
Today I had my first practise - in smaller groups (15 people) and we had to talk a little about ourselves - those people in my class are so inspiring! They have different courses, they study on vary faculties simultaneously... They are so great! They are really fascinating. Travelling around the world, meeting new people, learning foreign languages, taking interesting classes... That's how you discover yourself, explore the world, possibilities... That's how you truly learn and educate yourself !
We did some exercises, they were difficult but not overwhelming. I also have my first home assignment :)
We did some exercises, they were difficult but not overwhelming. I also have my first home assignment :)
10/2/12
First Day at University
Yes, today I had my first lecture, actually three of them :) It was pretty awsome, although I found it pretty hard to fix some time for meals, as the break was only 10-15 minutes each and I was a bit intimidated because it looked like no one around me felt the hunger. Like they don't need to eat. Unfortunately I rebounded it to myself when I came home. I binged, it's a what, fourth or fifth day in a row when I binge? Binging and purging took away last 5 afternoons from me. It's almost a week of being totally paralised, staying at home and being unable to do anything... In the morning I weighed 69.2kg; guess it will be more tomorrow...
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